


Arguments and Hope

by remanth



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Established Relationship, M/M, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-11 21:22:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7908067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remanth/pseuds/remanth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve and Bucky have an argument. Then Steve finds a way to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arguing

Steve followed after Bucky, shaking his head and holding back a tired sigh. This fight had taken a lot out of all of them but most especially Bucky. While Steve usually fought at Bucky’s side, this time the fight had taken him far away. Bucky had fought alone and one of their enemies had managed to rattle Bucky enough that it had taken Clint shooting the guy in the face with an arrow to save him.

And now, Bucky was being even more silent than he normally was. He was changing out of his uniform with a peculiar vehemence, slamming his weapons down and yanking at buttons and zippers. He dressed quickly, face a stormcloud of warring emotions.

“Buck?” Steve said, as Bucky started to leave the room. “You okay?”

“No,” Bucky spat back and walked away before Steve could say anything.

“Give him some time,” Clint said, coming into the room and sitting on the bench with a serious expression on his face. “I overheard some of what that goon was saying to him. It wasn’t pleasant.”

“Like what?” Steve asked, anger rumbling in his belly. “What did he say?”

“Typical villain stuff, at least at first. How Bucky was useless and a villain like him and we only allowed him here to keep an eye on him,” Clint replied, shaking his head. “Then he started saying this string of words. They made no sense to me but Bucky froze with this look of complete fear on his face. That’s when I shot the goon.”

“Thanks, Clint,” Steve said. The string of words was most likely the hypnotic trigger to make Bucky the Winter Soldier. He could understand Bucky’s anger now. And the fear that likely underlaid it. He patted Clint’s shoulder as he left to go search for Bucky.

Steve first looked in their bedroom, wondering if Bucky would have sequestered himself there. It was a haven for both of them when things were too loud or too big or too much. There were still things in this century Steve was trying to get used to. And Bucky had spent so long being a tool, a weapon and not human, that being human sometimes overwhelmed him.

But their bedroom was empty, the shades still open to let the warm sunlight filter in. There were other places Bucky might be but Steve headed to the gym next. They’d spent quite a bit of time here, sparring against each other and just training. On nights when Steve couldn’t sleep, he came down here and worked out against a punching bag. Bucky had found him here a few times and he’d done the same other nights when Bucky couldn’t sleep. His hunch paid off when he found Bucky at the punching bag, mechanically working through a series of punches. The bag was already starting to look a little bedraggled.

“Hey,” Steve said quietly, easing down onto the bench on the wall near the bag.

Bucky grunted in reply, swinging a vicious left hook that left a massive indent in the bag. His metal hand whirred quietly as he stepped back and took a breath. Then, he followed it up with a right hook and a series of quick punches that ripped a small hole in the bag. A little bit of sand dribbled out as Bucky stepped back again. But it was just for a moment to catch his breath. He moved back in towards the bag, hands flying and blurring as he leveled a series of vicious, quick punches. The last one ripped the bag in half, sand flying everywhere.

“Feel better?” Steve asked, chuckling quietly. He’d broken his fair share of punching bags. “I can get another one for you, if you like.”

“What are you doing here, Steve?” Bucky asked, glaring down at the pile of sand on the floor rather than meeting Steve’s eyes.

“Clint told me what happened,” Steve replied after a few moments. He got up and moved to Bucky’s side. But he didn’t touch him, not yet. He had a feeling he’d be shrugged off at the very least and possibly punched. “About the words that goon started to say to you.”

“I’m dangerous, you know that,” Bucky said, sighing and rubbing a hand over his face. Not the metal one, which hung limply at his side. “I don’t know how he had the words. I thought they were gone with the book. But he had them, Steve. He almost had _me_.”

Steve didn’t answer right away. Instead, he patted Bucky on the shoulder and headed to the storage room. He grabbed another punching bag, came back, and hung it up. Then he stepped back and waited. For a handful of heartbeats, Bucky stared at the bag like he didn’t know what it was. Then he started punching it again, the same series of quick punches that had destroyed the previous bag.

“The Winter Soldier is not you, Buck,” Steve said over the sound of fists smacking the bag. “What you do under the control of others is not your fault.”

“But I remember _everything_ ,” Bucky hissed, slamming the bag with his right hand and hissing. He pressed it to his chest, waiting for the numbness to fail. That punch had been sloppy and he’d known it, though he’d thrown it with all his strength anyways. “I can’t get away from what I did as the Winter Soldier. And anyone who knows those words can throw me right back into it. Can make me hurt anyone. Even you.”

“Remember when you’d always save me from the bullies?” Steve asked after a silence that stretched just a little too long. “No matter where I was or who I was fighting, you were always there. You always saved me.”

“Yeah, that was a long time ago,” Bucky shook his hand and studied it for a moment. The numbness was gone and nothing appeared to be broken. But instead of punching the bag again, he just rested his hand on it. “I don’t think that’s me anymore. I’m not who I used to be.”

“But the man you used to be is still in you,” Steve argued, stepping closer to Bucky and resting his hand over his. Bucky stiffened for a moment then pulled his hand away. “It’s why I don’t think you’d actually hurt me. Even as the Winter Soldier. You’re still Bucky inside.”

“You don’t understand, Steve, not at all,” Bucky sighed and blinked back the tears that were burning in his eyes. It was frustration and fear and desperation, all in one. “When I’m the Winter Soldier, nothing matters but my orders. Anyone who gets in my way will be cut down without hesitation, without mercy. The Winter Soldier is nothing but a weapon designed to be used. I’m too dangerous to stay here. Not if others have the code words.”

Before Steve could reply, Bucky turned on his heel and left. There was a hunch to his shoulders as if he was expecting a blow. Steve could do nothing but watch him go, wondering what he could say to help Bucky. Things had been bumpy between them, especially as they’d segued into a relationship, but they’d always figured things out. This time, however, worried him. He knew Bucky as he knew no one else and knew when he’d reached his limits. Knew when Bucky was set on something and determined to see it through. What could he do to help this time?


	2. Making Up Afterwards

Though all Steve wanted to do was go after Bucky and find some way to comfort and reassure him, he didn’t. There wasn’t anything he could say that Bucky was willing to listen to. And, as long as he had the hypnotic trigger buried in his mind, anyone with the right words could turn him back into the Winter Soldier. If only there was some way to remove the trigger. Then, Steve gasped as an idea burst into his mind.

They didn’t know exactly how Bucky had been brainwashed but maybe they didn’t need to. The Avengers had their own person who could control minds. She’d demonstrated her power on all of them before and she’d been refining her abilities since she’d joined them. Maybe, just maybe, Wanda would be able to help Bucky.

After a final sad glance towards the door Bucky had left by, Steve headed out the other door to find Wanda. It was likely she was in the kitchen now as she liked to cook after a battle. She’d told him it helped calm her down and center her again after the chaos of a battle. And that was exactly where he’d found her, chopping an onion while a savory-smelling concoction sauteed on the stove.

“Hello, Steve,” Wanda said, picking up her cutting board and using the knife to slide the onion pieces into the pan. “How are you?”

“A little worried about Bucky,” Steve said, sitting at one of the stools and propping his chin on one hand. “Clint had to save him earlier today. One of the goons had the codewords for the Winter Soldier. And now, Bucky’s afraid and angry and confused.”

“Codewords?” Wanda repeated, furrowing her brow for a moment. “How do they work?”

“Well, best guess is that Hydra implanted a hypnotic trigger in his mind,” Steve explained. He watched as Wanda stirred the contents of the pan. “And the codewords trigger the Winter Soldier when Bucky hears them. It completely subsumes his personality so that all he is is a weapon that takes orders. But he remembers.”

“A difficult thing,” Wanda said thoughtfully, tapping the spatula on the edge of the pan before setting it down. “But there may be a way I can help.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Steve smiled, relief and hope flooding him. “Would you give it a try if he agrees?”

“Of course,” Wanda said. They waited until the food in the pan was finished cooking then Wanda set it aside. It would keep until she came back. “Let’s go.”

Steve headed to his and Bucky’s room, hope still burning in his belly. He motioned to Wanda to wait outside when he heard movement inside. Bucky was definitely in there. Wanda nodded and leaned against the wall, a patient expression on her face. Then, Steve walked into the bedroom. What he saw made him stop in confusion.

There was an open suitcase on their bed, half-filled with clothes and other items. Bucky was coming out of the attached bathroom, hands full of toiletries. He glanced at Steve but didn’t acknowledge him. Instead, he dumped everything in his hands in the suitcase then headed back into the bathroom. Steve followed, blocking the door when Bucky tried to slip past him.

“Why are you packing?” Steve asked. “What’s going on?”

“I’m dangerous, Steve, we talked about this,” Bucky replied, not meeting Steve’s eyes. Instead, he looked down at the things he held in his hands. “It’s better if I’m not here. I couldn’t... couldn’t handle it if I hurt one of the others. Hurt you.”

Gently, Steve plucked the items from Bucky’s hands and set them on the sink. Then, he pulled Bucky into his arms, wrapping him up securely. Bucky stiffened for a few moments, even as his body trembled with the fear and desperation he was doing his best to hide. But finally, when Steve didn’t let go and just rubbed a hand up and down his back, Bucky finally relaxed. His arms wrapped around Steve’s waist and he buried his head in the crook of Steve’s neck. The trembling worsened, Bucky’s whole body shaking in Steve’s arms. And tears tracked a burning path down Steve’s neck and over his shoulder. But he didn’t let go. Slowly, the tears stopped. Then, even more slowly, so did the trembling.

“Steve, what are we going to do?” Bucky asked quietly. He didn’t move out of the embrace and neither did Steve. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I have an idea if you’re willing to try,” Steve said. He waited, wondering what Bucky would say. He hoped he’d say yes, he was going to try it, but there was no guarantee. Still running a hand over Bucky’s back, Steve continued, “But it’s up to you.”

“Let’s hear what it is,” Bucky said, lifting up his head and smiling at Steve. He pressed a kiss to Steve’s lips, something gentle and soft. A thank you and I love you all wrapped up in one.

“Come on, come sit down,” Steve said, taking Bucky’s hand and twining their fingers together. He led the way to the bed, shoved the suitcase out of the way, and sat them both down. They could unpack later. Then he raised his voice a little to be heard through the door. “Okay, Wanda, you can come in now.”

Wanda came in, giving Bucky a smile and settling down in the chair against the wall. Bucky looked from her to Steve and back again, brow furrowed as he thought. Wanda didn’t say anything, deciding to let Steve take the lead. He’d come to her, after all, and it was his idea.

“So, you know that Wanda can affect minds, make people see things,” Steve started, squeezing Bucky’s hand reassuring when the other man looked alarmed. “She thinks she might be able to help you. Maybe get rid of the hypnotic trigger.”

“Really? Are you sure?” Bucky asked, looking at Wanda. 

“I don’t know but I’m willing to try,” Wanda replied, shrugging. “It isn’t something I’ve done before. But, the question is, are you willing to let me try?”

Bucky fell silent, his face closing off as he looked away. It sounded a lot like what Hydra had done to him. They’d gotten into his head, changed who he was for their own gain. They’d taken away his free will and twisted him into a monster. Just a weapon to be used. But, if Wanda could reverse what they’d done, could he not try? Even the thought of being used as the Winter Soldier again made him shudder.

“You don’t have to,” Steve said when the silence stretched on too long. “No one’s going to force you. But it might help. Might make it so you don’t have to be afraid of yourself anymore.”

“All right,” Bucky said, turning back to Wanda. “What do you need me to do?”

“Just sit there,” Wanda said, raising her hands that were now glowing red. “I’ll do the rest.”

Bucky nodded and his hand tightened on Steve’s. As Wanda’s fingers danced in the air, Bucky’s eyes slipped closed and his body stiffened. It was like he wasn’t there anymore, that he was somewhere deep inside his head. Only the fact that his chest still rose and fell convinced Steve that he was still breathing.

While Wanda worked, an expression of profoundest sorrow coming over her face, Steve stroked his thumb over the back of Bucky’s hand. He wished he dared say something but worried it might interrupt whatever was going on. When a tear tracked down Bucky’s cheek and he whimpered deep in his throat, Steve squeezed his hand hard. He had to bite back his words again, wanting to offer comfort.

After too long a time, a time Steve felt would never end, Wanda dropped her hands and let out an exhausted sigh. Bucky mirrored the sigh, his eyes opening though they were unfocused for several moments. Wanda brushed a hand through her hair and waited in silence with Steve for Bucky to speak first.

“Do... do you know if it worked?” Bucky asked slowly after his eyes had focused again. “I don’t want to go out there thinking the words won’t work and someone uses them. I can’t do that.”

“There’s one way to know for sure,” Wanda offered, shrugging. “Someone needs to say them. If it worked, you’ll be fine. If not... then we’ll know.”

“All right,” Bucky said after several long moments. He didn’t look thrilled at the prospect. Instead, he looked a little sick and he’d paled quite a bit. He pulled his hand from Steve’s after lifting it to his lips to press a kiss to the back. “But not with me just sitting here. We need to tie me up or something so I can’t hurt either of you if it didn’t work.”

“That’s easily done,” Wanda said, gesturing towards Bucky. Her hands were glowing again and glowing red bands appeared around Bucky’s wrists and ankles. They led to the floor and seemed anchored there. “There. Now you won’t be able to go anywhere or hurt anyone.”

“Which makes it my turn, I guess,” Steve said. He grimaced and took a deep breath. He’d learned the words because he wanted to know them again if anyone else tried to use them against Bucky. Had he heard the goon rather than being somewhere else, he’d have taken the goon out himself.

“Go ahead,” Bucky said. “Best to get it done sooner so we know.”

Steve stood up and stepped away from the bed. Just in case. He started saying the words, his tongue tangling only a little on the Russian. Bucky jerked with each word, his hands clenching into fists. When Steve reached the end of the words, he stared at Bucky and waited. Nothing seemed to be different. Could Wanda have succeeded?

“It worked!” Bucky finally exclaimed, looking up at Steve with undisguised relief and joy. “They didn’t trigger the Winter Soldier! It really worked!”

“Then I’m finished here,” Wanda said, dropping her hands and letting the glowing bonds disappear. “Congratulations.”

On her way out of the room, Steve pulled Wanda in for a quick hug. She patted his shoulder, smiled back at Bucky, and left. Then, Steve moved to the bed and sat down, pulling Bucky into his arms again. More tears tracked down Bucky’s face, tears of relief and fear finally eased. They sat like that for a long time, Bucky revelling in the fact that he was finally free from Hydra.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you earlier,” Bucky finally said. 

“It’s all right,” Steve replied, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s temple. “I know why you did. It’s forgotten.”

“All right,” Bucky smiled. “Sounds good.”

They didn’t leave their room for the rest of the day, spending time together and just talking. A weight had been lifted from Bucky’s shoulders and he finally felt he could reclaim a part of who he was. While the memories of what the Winter Soldier had done, and the skills he had learned, were still there, they were no longer a threat to him. He could choose now what he did with those skills. And there was no way for anyone to take his agency away from him again.


End file.
